Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
