Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
