wake up i wanna do it froggy style
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
