It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
