Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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