it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
