Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
