what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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