he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
