Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
