I CAN MOONWALK!
grandma shit on top of the toilet
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
