thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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