Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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