Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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