Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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