whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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