i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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