i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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