why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Randomize