you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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