I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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