The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
