I am puke
farters have to be the big spoon...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
