you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize