I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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