I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
