what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
