Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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