whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I supernannyed him into submission
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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