he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
