If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
