he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
