she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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