If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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