I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
