OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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