We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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