Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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