Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
