I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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