I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
