..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
