i don't plan on having that self control this summer
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
