you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
