Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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