spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
