I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
