I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
