my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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