he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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