So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
