I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
