Where did you get a picture of my penis
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
