you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
