Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
