apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize