I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
